Sometimes we get lonely and when the ex is still contacting us.... we entertain the thought that, well... if only ...!
But when you have beat that poor dead horse into the ground... tried everything from couseling to separation (numerous times) ... dated his friend (just kidding... seeing if you were paying attention!) it's time to just bury the beast and move on. But what if we are stuck in that limbo hell? The one "between relationships"? The one where our heart still loves the last one, but can't seem to forgive and forget the pain he caused?
Sometimes we have to step back and re-evaluate our feelings.
Are they coming from just lonliness? If a new guy came in and wow'd us... would we even think twice about the ex? Probably not. Afterall... we are not together for a very good reason. One or both just couldn't make it work. Don't get me wrong. As much as that sounds like a "failure" statement, it is not meant to be one.
Relationships are hard work! They require constant open and honest communication. A skill so many people are malnourished in. They require that you be "considerate"... allllll the time. (No one deserves to be treated less-than or insignifigant. We ALL want to matter, especially to the one we bare our hopes and dreams and future with!) They require sacrifice and unselfishness. They require us to "understand" and "sympthize". A give and take, when often it feels like we are the only one giving. They require patience and forgiveness. And most of all they require unconditional love. A concept humans have a real struggle with.
We are selfish creatures by nature. Wanting what we want, when we want it. So how do we balance what we see for our future with what our partner sees?We FIND the right partner in the first place by getting to really know them before jumping to the "next step".
I recently joined a dating site in which long term relationships seem to be the goal... and there is not much patience by most to actually LET the relationship move at a casual pace. I am disappointed to say the least. What ever happened to casual conversation? Has the 3 date rule turned into a 3- EMAIL RULE?
They say "hi", you say "hi"... they want your number... you call... the date must be immediate? Maybe I am missing something here. Maybe I do not belong on a site yet. But , I DID state very clearly my intentions and limitations. I have a very busy schedule with school work and church. Those are my priorities for this period of my life. If I wanted to throw them away for another man and what HE thinks should be important... I would go back to my ex. At least then... I know what the routine is!
There is one who knows the concept and the reality of uncondional love. That is My God. So as lonliness sets in and human nature rears it's ugly head. I only know , at this point in my life, to pray that the ex stops contacting me as it keeps my heart in turmoil... and pray that the lonliness is replaced with His love and His comfort as only God can do. Maybe once I stop looking to "man" to give me the love I so desire... God will work in me to make the woman he created me to be...maybe then, He will hook me up with someone He created FOR me to love!
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